and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
