so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
