i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
