This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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