Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I cut my penus on the lid.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
