either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
