you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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