Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
