so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
