I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
