I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
