We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
