We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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