Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
