soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
