ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
