He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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