She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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