I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
