Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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