Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
