Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
