They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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