She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
