All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
