I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
