Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
