I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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