And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
