yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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