Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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