My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
