David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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