I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
