I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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