whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
