According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
