you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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