Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
