i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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