Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
