turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
