so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
