Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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