my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
