question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Everclear isn't food dammit
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
