Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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