New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize