i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
