Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
