shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
