why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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