his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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