I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
