too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
