i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Barsexuality is the new black.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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