Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
