So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
jump out the window naked night went bad
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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