Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
