No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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