just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
